There’s immense power in the present. Or so I’m told.
A plethora of self help, to mindfulness, to religious texts will tell me to stay in the present, be here, don’t be clouded by the past or future. But what if I need the past? What if that’s the only thing that can save me? If I’m always here, now, how am I allowing myself to remember everything and everyone that have had an impact on my present? How will I be able to feel the love and warmth of my childhood home, or laugh at the changes myself and my friends have gone through, if I’m constantly here?
I’ve struggled with the present for the majority of my life. My family moved a lot when I was young, and it left me to figure out what it was that I could do to keep myself sane. I’ve taken lessons over the years from very wise people who are willing to teach me the ways of time on the mind and the soul. When torn by a long distance move, a mentor of mine reminded me of Maude’s words to, “go out and love some more.” Go out and love some more.
That’s what I traveled with. The key is bundling up everything, anything that has made you happy, and carrying it with me. The present is worth it because it gives me the power to remember everything, and in this, I have the power to call on it later. Whenever I may need it.
The past gives us something that we can’t have otherwise. Our memories provide us a gateway to a time that isn’t but was, and can give us the strength we need right now.
But, sometimes it hurts to know that you can’t go back. For me, my present memories that cause pain are those of a home that doesn’t exist. My entire family, even on those days where “nothing” really happened, just being with them in a home gave me a sense of security, love, and hope that I just can’t seem to find elsewhere. But that’s a story for another time.
As I am nearing another ending chapter in my life, I can’t help but think about time and memories. Where will these people go that I’ve spent so much time with in my brain’s filing system? Will I forget about them because it’s easy, or will I try to take everything that I’ve learned to go out and love some more?
I hope so.